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Getting in touch with your Feminine side (even if you’re a man!)

Updated: Apr 19, 2023

Dancing for me is an act of getting in touch with my feminine side.

I worked in the corporate world for over a decade, also having graduated from a business school where it is all about competition, money, getting ahead, success. When choosing which directions to go for the Masters, we knew, Finance and Strategy programs were respected, while Human Resources majors were talked about as something “women do”. Although I was super curious about HR and I knew I would have been great at it, knowing how social I was (others saw it too, and a few friends did tell me HR would suit me, which I took offensively and half-jokingly asking back, “is it because I am a woman?”), I settled on a less “womanly” and my second option, “Entrepreneurship”. Thank goodness, at this point, I already knew Finance or Strategy were definitely not for me!

So, having worked and studied and lived in jobs, society, and cultures where male energy and qualities were more celebrated, I had grown an immense desire to get in touch with my feminine side in recent years. In my early 20s, I had trained myself to act and think with male energy, and something wasn’t quite right. Even in my late teens, I thought crying was a sign of weakness and I did not want to get in touch with the “softer” side of me.

However, there was a point in my life where that no longer felt genuine to me.

Even in the male dominated world(s), I still love being a woman. I love the feminine energy I naturally possess. I wanted to get in touch with that more deeply and more frequently.

In Yoga philosophy, the term Yin & Yang is often introduced. They are not exactly women & men, or female & male. It has very little to do with gender or sex. It demonstrates the quality of your energy. And we possess BOTH! Even the machoest person has their softer side, some feminine qualities. Even the kindest or quietest person has a force in them that helps them move their life forward.

In the black, there is a hint of white, and in the white, there is a black dot.

Our society, especially many work cultures, celebrates the masculine energy of getting things done, high motivation, movement, proactiveness, and competition (if not within the firm among the coworkers, as our cultures are changing, yay! we’re still competing in the market for a larger piece of the pie for the company). However, the feminine energy has beautiful qualities that need not be neglected. If it is the situation at your work to admire more masculine energy, I would urge you to definitely dedicate some time in your personal life to cultivate and connect to your feminine energy. It is accepting, patient, nurturing, cooperative, delicate, gentle, and creative.

“The Tao does nothing, but leaves nothing undone.” - 37th verse of Tao Te Ching.

Feminine energy is the energy that creates life in the womb.

Feminine energy is what lifts the spirit with its gentleness and care.

Feminine energy is the energy that sustains life on “MOTHER” Earth, the source of, and home to, all living beings.

Soft and gentle, yet it has the power to move the mountains. It has the power to create life. It has the power to convince, calm the storm, and cease the war.

So, what can you do to be more connected to your feminine side?

For me, I do a few things, and dancing is the ultimate act of getting in touch with my feminine side. Dancing itself is a movement, which is your masculine energy. Remember, there is a white dot in black and black dot in white, in our Yin Yang.

In the masculine energy of movement, I get to express the feminine energy in my own creation. Creation or creativity itself has feminine qualities. I don’t just mean the choreography but also the subtle movements that make the dances and movements much more beautiful and pleasing, such as the lines and shapes you create and hold, adding delicate elements such as face expressions, eye contacts, and the movement of the fingertips. Furthermore, you are in touch with your own body, your sensations and you get to nurture that.

You are one with your body, you learn its potential, and also limitations. Accepting the state of your body at the moment, you are careful not to push further but patiently and gently improve by nurturing your potential.

Lastly, appreciating the beauty of the movement, the flow, the oneness with the music and sometimes with the partner, can all be part of how dancing can help you connect to your feminine energy.

Of course, if dancing isn’t for you, you don’t have to do that!

There are many ways to get in touch with your feminine qualities.

Here are some ideas:

  • You can meditate for more calmness in your life, to approach problems with a gentler mindset and to come up with creative solutions.

  • Appreciate beauty. If we are ever so focused on profit and results, it is so easy to miss out on the beauty around us. Do stop to appreciate flowers (or snow), birds and squirrels, dogs and smiles, or how someone did their hair, or put together an outfit with a nice piece of jewelry. Beauty doesn’t always have to be up on the mountains or in the museums. It is all around us!

  • Take time to create something. Have you ever seen how art pieces are created? It takes a while to create something, and artists have a lot of patience! Draw, paint, write, knit, make videos. Whatever it is that you do, take some time to create and express what is coming up for you from the inside.

  • Accept your emotions. Really get in touch with it. If you are feeling positive or negative, happy or sad, use the emotion wheel to put a more exact language to it so that you can better understand what you are really feeling.

  • Cook using as many colours as possible in your yummie creation! Maybe 3 different peppers, all kinds of greens, or sprinkle some saffron or turmeric? Even if you are eating by yourself, make it look like you’ve prepared it for a Queen or a King! Because you ARE one! Make this experience fun and nurturing, as to just functional (stuffing your hungry belly).

  • Hang out with people just to talk, listen, laugh and have fun. Nurture those connections you have.

  • Be kind and gentle in your speech and action.

  • Listen to music.

  • Go to a museum.

  • Look at the leaves move when wind touches them.

  • Do nothing. Take a break. Rest. Sleep.

I think at this point, we can all agree that we would create a better world if we cultivated and nurtured more of the feminine energy in everyone! Wouldn’t it be wonderful?

Lastly, here are some ways to incorporate it today (or this week) at your workplace, especially if you have a corporate job like I used to ;)

  • Compliment someone not on the results they have produced in the work, but the way they communicate, how they maneuver conversations in a gentle way, or a kind gesture in how they treat their colleagues. When you try to look for these qualities in others to compliment on, you will naturally practice it more often in your daily life.

  • Listen without reacting or solving any problems. If you have ever read the book Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus by John Gray, it says that men like to solve problems while women listen. Again, I do not want to put anyone or any gender in a box. And I believe that when the author was pointing to men or women, he really meant masculine energy and feminine energy, no matter the gender of the person. Tap into your feminine energy and say nothing. Listen. Give the other person the space. It is precious. You will be surprised how much they are helped by you doing nothing. Again, “The Tao does nothing, but leaves nothing undone.”

  • Take on more creative jobs at your current work. Does your team need someone to write a piece, create a training video, or draft an important email? Raise your hand! I mean… if you want to :)

I want to leave you with two questions today:

  1. What is one thing you will incorporate from now on to stay in touch with your feminine energy?

  2. What are some benefits for you to stay connected with both your masculine and feminine energies?

Thanks for reading!


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